


Tender

by elliesbow



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: (saoirse ronan voice) wOMEN-, Canon, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Lesbians lesbianing, TLOU2 spoilers, Useless Lesbians, dina do be pining tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25359454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliesbow/pseuds/elliesbow
Summary: Every soft, intimate, and cherished exchange shared between Dina and Ellie. Starting from the very moment she arrives in Jackson, all the way throughout the journey of TLOU2.An in-depth and explorative interpretation of Ellie's canon notebook memories and in-game dialogue, with more of Dina's perspective, as well as tender moments between them in the downtime of TLOU2's storyline.
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102





	Tender

Dina never leaves the house without tying her shoelaces first. Well, she also never leaves the house alone, or after curfew. However.. new travellers don't usually come by Jackson at this time of night. Especially not ones at her age. The lights are on in the Tipsy Bison, casting a warm glow over the snowy trail. Now she hears voices growing louder, and then laughter. A smile begins to form at the corners of her lips, until-

"Ah..!" she treads on a shoelace with the other foot, almost tripping herself over. Dina manages to steady herself and glances up at the windows. Eventually, she sighs and kneel down. "God... dang it." She murmurs to herself, tying her laces quickly and clumsily. When she's done, she's back up and jogging. She pushes her weight against the heavy wood doors as the sound of voices and music finally fills the air. Faces. So many faces. But she knows them all. Somebody new... Somebody unfamiliar... Jesse says he saw two new travellers and one was a girl her age... But where-

"Dina!" She almost jumps out of her skin, turning to find Maria quickly approaching her. "You can't be in here! It's past curfew!" There's concern, and also kindness, in her typically stern voice. Even though Dina tries to speak, her eyes dart around the faces in the room.

"I - I know but I heard some travellers arrived, and-"

"-And you'll get to meet them tomorrow, when they've rested. I promise." She tells her quickly. "And they're not travellers. Not anymore, at least. They're here to stay." Dina glances up at her after that.

"They will?" Her voice is smaller now, and Maria is gently cautioning her back towards the doors.

"Trust me, if they leave now, my dumbass husband is not going to forgive 'em." She almost laughs lowly. This grabs Dina's interest again.

"Tommy knows them?" She asks, voice now higher again. Maria sighs, a slight grin on her face.

"Oh, you bet. They're brothers."

"Tommy has a brother?!" Dina turns back, scanning the crowd for Tommy, and anyone who even remotely resembles him.

"Look, you'll meet Joel and Ellie soon enough. But for now, you need to head back home and get some rest." Rest? But Dina is restless. As Maria pushes the door open and lets the cold air whisk in from the outside world, Dina spots him. Tommy. She's never seen him smile so big. Laughing, red in the face, drink in one hand, and another on a man's shoulder. Immediately, Dina starts spotting some of their facial similarities - she's never seen this particular man in Jackson before _. Joel._ That must be Joel. "Come on now, Dina." Maria urges. Dina feels Maria's hand on her shoulder, and takes a reluctant step back to towards the door. "Goodnight." Maria says with a nod.

"Night." Dina returns, holding the door open. Begrudgingly, she steps back out into the snowy street, but holds the door open when she hears a gruff voice say;

"Oh, hey, kiddo. Thought I lost you for a second." Dina pauses, peeking through the oak slabs and back at the man, Joel. That's when she sees her. A smaller figure, much smaller than anyone else in the Tipsy Bison, returning to Joel's side. The girl says something to Joel and Tommy, but her voice is too quiet to hear. Her reddish-brown hair is in a ponytail, her skin is pale, freckled. She's so skinny, it looks like they haven't been eating well. Her eyes... Dina barely catches a glimpse of them under the yellow light. They're emerald, and maybe... hazel? It's hard to tell. Her clothes are slightly ragged, dirty, even. Just like that man, Joel's. They look like they've travelled far. That's when Dina notices something...

She's... stealing. Well, stealing maybe isn't the right word. But there's enough beef jerky in her pockets and peeking out of her backpack to last her quite some time out there alone. Dina glances briefly at the bar tables for the complimentary beef jerky - all are gone. She's taken all of them. Dina stifles a laugh. _Who in the hell does that?_ Satisfied, Dina finally shuts the door, and heads back through the snow.

It's a long, hazy walk home. Later that night, she continues to find herself restless, and jumps out of bed to peak through the blinds when she thinks she hears Joel's voice again. Under the moonlight, she catches their backs. Tommy, Maria, Joel and Ellie, walking up street, probably to settle into their new home in Jackson. Dina finds a smile, one that she can't exactly explain, starting at the corners of her lips. She pulls her fingers away from the open blinds and sits back down on the edge of her bed, thinking...

_Who is that string-bean girl stealing all the jerky?_

_Ellie. Maria says her name is Ellie._

* * *

They become fast friends. A little too fast, even. She finds herself doing a lot of sneaking out since Ellie's arrival as time goes on. Lots of adventures, little treasures, whispers in the dark. And lots of scolding and getting trouble, too. And today is no exception.

It's Ellie's birthday. There's no real gift shops in Jackson, nothing spectacular at least, nothing Dina could find that could _impress_ her. She's not even sure why she wants to- she didn't even get Jesse anything for his birthday and they're meant to be, well... together. Whatever the reason, it makes Dina start running, back to that campground. She shouldn't be - especially not by herself - but she wants to. Has to.

She went there with Ellie before, made them crowns out of paper. It went all quiet when Dina gave Ellie hers. Then Ellie smiled. A lot. It made Dina smile too. But those crowns were just plain coloured paper - which Dina cut quickly behind Ellie's back as she wrote in that notebook she always carries around with her. This crown would be different. And she would get to see her smile again. Dina isn't sure why she likes to see her - Ellie - smiling like that. But she knows it's worth sneaking out to the campgrounds again to see it again.

After making sure the area is safe and secure, Dina begins. She must've tried, two or three times, crumpling up crown after crown, until she makes the perfect one. Perfect in shape and pretty sturdy, too. With hearts, stars, and little light gems she finds in the art supply boxes she finds. She shoves the crumpled crowns under the corner of a storage drawer. It would be SO embarrassing if Ellie comes back and sees how hard she tried... Dina would hide from her forever if she saw...

 _Pit... pat... pit-pat... pitter-patter.._.

That sound... Dina looks up at the windows. It's raining. She stares at the little paper crown. Something in her chest starts aching, and her stomach twists into tight knots.

 _"No.."_ The word comes out so small. "Please, please, _please_ not now..!" She pulls the chair away and opens the door, peering outside at the little pellets of water peppering the outside world. Her hands fall flat at her sides, her shoulders deflating. She looks back at the crown... No. Her fists tighten. She is NOT giving Ellie a soggy, dead crown for her birthday. That smile... she needs to see it again. Dina rummages through the supply drawers until she finds a plastic binder. She slides the paper crown between the laminate sheets. A flat, dry crown is better than a wet, sad one. Dina takes off her jacket, and her sweater too. She wraps the binder in sweater, shoves it into her bag, and places the jacket on top of everything to shield it from the rain.

She huffs getting the backpack to zip shut - and when it finally does, something snaps in her hand. Dina opens her palm and finds one of the two zipper pull tabs has broken off. She puts it in her pocket. It's fine, at least one is working, the bag'll be fine. But just in case, she wears her backpack on her stomach to ensure it doesn't pop open on her way back. With that, she's on her feet and racing through the rain, clutching the backpack in her arms all the way back to town. Maria absolutely lays into her when she's back, but she's over it in a heartbeat. She can't wait to head home and check on the crown before Ellie -

"Hey, Dina! Wait up!" Dina freezes outside her front door. She looks up at the road and sees Ellie racing towards her. Dina's heart jumps. Why is she here already? What if the crown's wet and needs to dry? It's too early to tell!

"Hey..! Ellie, I was just - um.." Within seconds Ellie is hopping up her porch steps.

"You were just..? What?" She teases after a moments silence. Dina feels heat returning to her cold, rain-riddled cheeks.

"It's, um.." Dina eyes up the front door, "Do you wanna come inside real quick? I don't want any rain to leak through the porch ceiling..." She mutters, playing it coolly.

"Okay, but, uhh - I hate to break it to you - you're kinda already a little wet." Ellie chuckles. Dina looks down at herself. She's absolutely soaked, down to her socks. But it's not about her. She holds her bag a little tighter.

"Yeah, a little," Dina chuckles, only slightly embarrassed, but not that much. Looks like Ellie got caught out in the rain as well so she's not alone at least. Dina pushes her elbow against the door handle, still clutching the bag, and the front door gives in.

"Hm, might even be a bit of an understatement." Ellie teases from behind her. Dina grins, holding the door for her.

"Shut up." She grumbles. Ellie laugh softly again. The sound almost makes Dina forget why she ran off in the first place. Almost. She remembers quickly, especially after she shuts the front door and the room grows quiet without the sound of rain.

"Shit, sorry about the floor." Ellie murmurs. Dina glances down at the small muddy trail Ellie leaves and just shrugs.

"Honestly, don't worry about it." She kneels down to unzip her backpack before realising how wet her hands are. "Shoot." A recipe for disaster.

"You alright?" Ellie asks, taking off her jacket and placing it on coat stand.

"Uhh, yeah..! One sec." Dina rushes to the open plan kitchen and wipes her hands, and her forearms, down with clean tea towel. She can't take any chances. Ellie observes with a sly smile.

"Oh, sure. Yeah. You seem fine. Perfectly normal behaviour."

"I thought I told you to shut up?" Dina quickly retorts, smiling. She chucks Ellie the tea towel too. Ellie reels back slightly but begrudgingly dries her hands too.

"Okay..? And I thought I was a welcomed guest here? What kind of host are you?" Typical. Dina scoffs and riffles through her backpack. Now her heart is racing again. Please be dry. Please be dry. Please be dry. "Whatcha looking for?" Ellie asks curiously, eyebrows raised, trying to get a better peak. Dina's puts the jacket aside and starts to unravel the sweater from the binder. "Umm.. why would you put your jacket in your bag? It's raining out. You're soaked." There's a hint of suspicion in Ellie's voice, and Dina can hear her draw closer. She sets the sweater down and stares at the plastic folder. A couple of droplets race down the cover when she tilts it. Please, please be dry.

"I, um.." Dina swallows unsurely, "I was just trying to keep it dry." She says, her own mouth and tongue becoming suddenly parched. Ellie sways on her feet slightly, curiously.

"Keep what dry?" She asks, peering at the binder.

"Well..." Dina sighs. It's now or never, really. It's just a paper crown, Ellie isn't expecting anything, she won't be mad if it's wet. She'll get it. Dina nervously stands up and flicks through the pages. The teasing expression Ellie previously wore has completely faded by now, she's rarely seen Dina serious before. She finds the crown, and with delicate, dry hands, she pulls it from the sheets. "I just thought that.." Dina begins, quietly, and... it's dry. The crown is dry! It's flat but at least it's not totally dead. Ellie's lower lip flutters open, eyes blinking.

"Is that..." She starts. Dina glances up quickly to gage her expression, before suddenly realising her crown isn't at it's peak beauty, she needs to unravel it. She drops the binder over her jacket and sweater and gently but quickly starts to unravel the crown. A tiny gasp escapes Ellie's chest. "Dina..!" She quips immediately after. There's creases in the paper. It looked better in the campgrounds, but there isn't much Dina can do now but accept it's imperfection. She sighs and shrugs.

"Look, I know it's not much.. I just thought, y'know..." When Dina pulls her gaze away from - what she deems, a failure - she suddenly remembers the real reason why she went through all that effort in the first place.

It's that smile. Ellie's. Ellie is smiling. It's so wide - almost like laughter - but she can't hear her laughing. Looking at the crown in Dina's hands, and then back up at her face. Then Dina feels it. That same warmth that she felt last time Ellie smiled at her like that. But it's so much warmer now, almost blazing hot, scorching her cheeks, burning in her throat. So much so, that she has to clear it before being able to speak again.

"Do you, um - do you like it?" She finally manages.

"Did you make this for me? Did you go back to the old campgrounds?" Ellie asks quickly. When she reaches for the crown, her fingers graze along Dina's knuckles. The exchange is soft and delicate. But the small sensations make Dina dizzy, even for just a moment.

"Yeah - yeah, the campgrounds. Like before." She watches as Ellie lifts and turns the crown, looking at all the little ornaments Dina glued to it.

"Dina..." Ellie says her name like a long sigh. "Dina, I love it... I can't believe you went back there to make this for me.." When she looks up, they lock eyes again. It feels like forever, but it doesn't last as long.

"Happy birthday, Ellie." Dina says finally. Ellie smiles at her again and the warmth returns. In this moment, Dina realises that Jesse doesn't make her feel this way anymore. In fact, she's struggling to remember if he ever even did to begin with. Through the sadness of the realisation... Dina wonders if Ellie can feel it too. She wants to ask her in that moment. In fact, she wants to ask her in many, many other moments that follow over the years - but she never does. It isn't the right time then, and as it turns out, it never is. If only she knew that Ellie felt it too, perhaps things would've turned out different than they did.

* * *

And things _are_ different.

Ellie spends everyday with her. Some nights too. Talking, sharing secrets, laughing... Smiling.

_Not with Dina._

_With Cat._

One night, Dina catches them kiss under the porch-light. Even if Dina watches for only a second, the little details would riddle her mind in the months that followed. No. _Years._

Cat's fingers gliding through in her hair. Ellie gently and soothingly spanning her small of her back. Eyes are shut. The night air, warm. The wind, soft... Dina away turns briskly. It isn't just the kiss that makes her feel so... small. It's the smile that follows afterwards. _You used to smile at me like that, Williams._

That night, Jesse doesn't stay with her for long. He leaves Dina's place looking tired - no, worn out. _Their_ kiss goodbye, on the other-hand, is quick. _Hollow._ Dina closes her bedroom door when he's gone. She stares at the ceiling in bed for what feels like hours. Before she knows it, she places a hand to her chest, feels it rising and shuddering. Only then does she return to reality and hears the tiny gasps escaping her lips. Her cheeks are wet, as are her pillows. She can't quite remember when she starts crying, and she can't explain why either. She's with Jesse. She's not with Ellie, the same way Ellie's not with her. So why is she so upset? They're all friends. That's it. That's how it's always been all these years.

But... why does it hurt _so fucking much?_

She doesn't see Ellie for sometime after that. Even after her tattoo is all done, she doesn't even look. Cat tattooed her, of course. A talented, versatile artist, as Ellie would call her. It only makes Dina think of the pathetic little crown she made for her birthday all that time ago. Feels like forever now. She didn't even see it on display in Ellie's cabin last time she was there. That hurt, too. More than she would ever have the chance to admit.

Things with Jesse feel more and more different everyday. They've been strained for awhile now. He's a good man. He's good to her... He's good _for_ her. So why does it feel so... bad? Everything feels like repetition - empty. She knows Jesse feels it, too. She loves him, so much. He loves her just the same. But _they're_ not the same. 

In all fairness, Ellie did try.

_"We could all head to the lake together."_

_"How about a movie night?"_

_"You and Jesse should join us for dinner."_

_"I'll be playing a song Joel taught me. You'd like it."_

Offer after offer, Dina finds some new excuse. She only ever went if Jesse's around when Ellie asks. At least HE likes Cat. But when Dina sees her, or even thinks of her... her mind starts to wander... 

_Does Cat hold you the way Jesse holds me? Do you wish it was me, like I wish it was you? Do you stare at her when she's not looking and think 'how did I get so lucky'? ..._ _How does she touch you when nobody's around? When you're all alone...?_

The questions bore a hole in her chest. She always has to stop herself. She _needs_ to stop herself. If she thinks too much, she's scared she'll explode.

But as the months pass, the offers become less and less frequent. More and more, she sees Ellie alone, not intertwined. Eventually, when Dina finds out Ellie and Cat broke up, it doesn't bring her any joy either. Knowing Ellie is feeling some form of heartache doesn't feel good, at all, it feels awful. So, what IS this feeling? The guilt is overwhelming. She should've set her feelings aside. She should have been there for her. Been _happy_ for _her._ That's what friends do... So why didn't she?

All she knows is that at some point, Ellie winds up outside her front door one night, waiting for her to answer. A small, flicker of hope sails it's way into Dina's chest. The moment is tiny - minuscule and fleeting. Like a little lifeboat in rage of turbulent ocean. She sees something in Ellie's eyes, wondering...

_Are we the same?_

She should have asked her then. But that little flicker of _something_ within Ellie quickly fades when Jesse comes up behind her and greets her with his warm, comforting smile. The lifeboat capsizes. Ellie smiles back at him, more wearily now.

He's a good guy. Good to her. Good for her.

Ellie squeezes past Dina and shakes her jacket off. Jesse hands her a drink. She takes it from him with a thankful nod. That night, the two girls eyes meet frequently over the candlelit coffee table and whisky glass glimmers. At some point, Dina catches Ellie smile against the rim of her drink. She feels warm all over again. It feels like it's been so, so fucking long since this. Since this feeling... But, that distance... Dina won't let it happen again. She doesn't fully understand why it happened. Not for a long time. Not until the bonfire night.

* * *

That's when she finds she can't stop... Her hands. She can't stop watching Ellie's hands.

How they press to the strings, so effortless, yet so pin-pointed and precise. She watches the veins and the bones, moving under her skin. And the soft, sweet calling of her singing voice. She loves this song. And she's glad there's a bonfire, otherwise she'd be the only one absolutely burning inside and out. _She's so fucking beautiful._ It's all Dina can think. With the orange-yellow glow of the fire, beating against everyone's faces. But they don't glow the same way Ellie does. She watches her mouth move as the lyrics flow out of her. She feels like they're alone in this crowded affair. They're sitting so closely, knees touching. She's just staring at her, smiling, as Ellie sings. The others around dance and talk. At least Jesse's having a few drinks, having fun and being social. But Dina doesn't want to leave this spot. She can't.

Ellie can feel her gaze. If only Dina knew, how much Ellie's skin was scorching too. Ellie clears a knot in her throat before continuing her song softly. She raises her gaze to meet Dina's, catching her watching her, and smiling sweetly. Ellie can't help but return the grin too, she chuckles slightly between the lyrics, and hears Dina do the same. For a moment, she almost thinks she sees Dina leaning in, but... she doesn't.

_She can't stop thinking about how she should've kissed her then... Neither can Dina._

When the song's over, she feels Dina's hand on her knee - thumb soothingly rubbing the area.

"You're incredible, you know that right?" Dina tells her. Ellie feels her heart skip a beat.

"I, uh.." She sees Jesse in the background, in an animated, seemingly hilarious conversation with a whisky in his hand. Keep your cool, Williams. "Thanks, Dina." She nods, but she can't help herself. "So are you." Williams, what happened to keeping your cool? Dina laughs slightly, and the hand leaves Ellie's knee. She wishes it didn't.

"Doesn't really make sense in this context, but in any other context... you're absolutely right." Dina winks playfully at her.

"God, you're such narcissist." Ellie sighs, trying not to make eye contact as she feels herself blushing. It only makes Dina laugh.

"Yup, loud and proud." She says back. She rests a hand on Ellie's shoulder and looks back at the others. Ellie doesn't, she looks at Dina's hand, then at her side profile. God, s _he's so fucking beautiful..._

If only she knew Dina has been thinking that exact same thing.

"Do you wanna get a drink?" Dina asks hopefully. Ellie's thoughts are flooded. _Don't fuck up your friendship. Don't fuck up your friendship. She's with Jesse. End of story._

"No. No, you go ahead. I'll catch up." She mutters.

"Okay, see you there." Dina smiles, weakly, but she makes an effort at least. When she stands, her hand leaves Ellie's shoulder. Ellie wants it back already. She exhales heavily.

_Goddamn it, she should've kissed her then._

_Jesus fucking Christ, she should've kissed her then._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! :) First story ever on here but let me know your thoughts so far.   
> More chapters to come, of course! Sit tight and stay indoors!


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